I'll add you if you add me. Ask to be added. I might add you anyway.
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS
YOUR GYPSY HYMNS

http://listography.com/cowboymouth

Yeah, I've been keeping one of these too. Add if you've got one.

wow. life fucking sucks.

"There are three things I don't appreciate:
I don't appreciate you calling my mom a nigger,
I don't appreciate you calling my mom a bitch,
And I don't appreciate you saying you're gona "teach" my little brother and sister "some shit" if they go over to your place. And it isn't even your place!
Now let's square off. Ya' finished. In this town, ya' finished man."

-Eddie Rivera, Jr.

Welcome to Orchard Park, where a short shit inked up white guy on probation harassed my mom in the middle of the night. Did you know that Eduardo means "Protector?" That guy's shit needs to get fucked up, on the real. Hood drama in Irvine, and you didn't even know.

Why does my future sister in law like to post ho-ass pictures on myspace?

Grandpa is dying, or something, or I don't know, I'm being stoically dramatic or something. If it's possible. I got Akira Kurosawa's Dreams in the mail today. I'm waiting for some books, and a new record needle. I can't make anything lately. I feel inspired, but nothing comes. I put all this work into fucking school and fuck school I hate you fucking assholes, I can't even really live because of you. I used to live, kind of. If only I could remember how...

Grandpa's in the hospital. I'm at USC Medical Center with him, my mom, and the kids. Fluid's in his lungs, so they have him on a drainage machine. They're going to operate on him soon, I'm not sure when. He's really skinny again, probably weighs less than I do. I've been here since noon. It's tiring, but I'm glad I came. This is my first Friday off in God knows how long.

The hill next to us is on fire.

I don't feel as shitty as I was feeling a week ago, and the month before that. I got an A in biology, which helps. It's hard, waiting for change. I don't know when life will get better, when the opportunity to make it better will come. I'm trying. I just don't know who I'm trying for.

Won a beautiful scholarship of $550.00

It may not seem like much, but it WILL finance my trip to Rhode Island this Summer. Fuck yes.

I just found out that I won a scholarship from the IVC Scholarship Foundation. I have no idea what the amount is yet, but this will probably pay for my trip to New York and Newport, Rhode Island this Summer... to see Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, Arlo Guthrie, Decemberists, Iron and Wine, and Fleet Foxes at George Wein's Folk Festival 50. What could be better?

Thank you for everything, sweet baby Jesus...

You have changed so much.

Meeting vagrant wino's in Santa Ana is tight, but makes me nervous. I'm sad about running away from him, but he was drunk and yelling "Shove your hand up your ass and find God, you bitch!" to the woman behind the counter at the Gypsy Den. Kinda weird, when you're a woman witnessing misogyny in action and stuff. Tends to scare you.

Blake, Megan, Khalid, and I went to the OC DIY festival only to meet the last stragglers... some E-Tard and a chick from Irvine who lifted her armpits to some other hobo's and asked, "Do I smell bad?" (to which they replied "No.") We got free bread and cookies, oranges, and wasabi nuts. And some books on Jesus, and spirit healing, and nuclear war. Had a good conversation and took off to Duke's off Fairview and Warner, where some drunk Mexican fat guy was laughing every few minutes at the table behind us. We kicked it at the Cinco De Mayo festival in Downtown Santa Ana, later went to the Den, where the hobo madness transpired.

Later we saw Sami, Ashtyn, Liz, and Nick Blinderman. It was nice hanging out. Everyone has chilled out so much. Makes me happy to see that all of us are growing up. I hope we all become better people, maybe even good people. We'll see.

Also: Rediscovering Rilo Kiley. And it is amazing.

When will I get what I deserve?

And do I even deserve it at all?

I never wrote about how we went to the Griffith Observatory and Upright Citizens Brigade for Hoang's and Jake's birthday, and bought them beer. Never wrote about our fabulous outing with Lorenzo and Prince to Canter's either. I just want to record it, because I want to remember it. I love you Lorenzo.

Had an anxiety attack last week. I took a Xanax, but it was slightly weak. Depeche Mode played in the street two days ago, I wish I could've gone, but I'm glad my mom and Eddie went. Hoang bought me a red velvet cupcake yesterday because I was upset with him. I am working on my Math homework. I finally got internet for my house. We just have to set it up today.

Places I want to visit: Peru, South Africa (for the World Cup), Vietnam, Oman, Tanzania, and Germany. Maybe Holland too.

Did you hear about the torture video by the UAE Royal Sheikh Issa bin Zayed al Nahyan (the brother of the Khalifa, or the King of UAE, he's not a gov't official though)? This shit is tremendously fucked up. http://gawker.com/5224551/uae-sheikh-in-crazy-torture-tape

Reject the illusion!!

Can I save the world?

Our ID's worked.



We saw Conor Oberst first. There he is! He is tiny.



Here is Leonard Cohen! He is super old. I love him. He was so incredible.




I didn't get any good pictures of Morrissey, this will have to do.





Paul Mccartney was the GOAT seriously. Oh my God!




I love the "rock on" signs here. Sooo great. This was for Live and Let Die, the grand finale! ...Before he did 6 encores or so.

I'm going to Coachella tomorrow. I am really excited to see some of the greatest people of all time. Yeah, I guess I'm excited about seeing Conor Oberst too, shoot me. I am paying for Khalid and our hotel room. I really wanted some people to stay with us or something but I guess that's not possible at this point. Everyone's got a place to stay or they aren't going anymore or they aren't answering my messages (thx Lorenzo).

We won Silver at the National Model United Nations Competition. New York was incredible, except for some of the people on my team. Italian guys are sooo attractive. Germans are similar to Mexicans. I love Germans. I met Khalid's aunt and uncle and I have a feeling that I said nothing worth remembering.

I am scared about applying to school this year, because I really want to get into Berkeley. I don't want to go to UCLA. I am learning everything in Arabic but I have missed 3 tests and a bunch of homework. I have the worst luck.

I cleaned out my room and I filled up 3082358 trash bags with shit I don't need, and packed stuff away to keep in storage. I think I should burn all of it.

Kind of depressed lately. Maybe it's my brain. Maybe it's something else. I don't know. Depression always comes out in spurts of anger for me. It sucks. Whatever. Onward!

Khalid was able to get into my hard drive from my old old PC. I found a bunch of poems and prose on it from two years ago. It made me really happy to read over it. I was a much better writer then, and had more interesting things to write about. It was nice to get all my old music back, too.

Holland and Prince broke up. I gave him a Vicodin. I'm not sure why. I think I feel bad. I don't know if I'm going to have Hoang's present done in time. God. My mom's applying at St. Joseph's hospital to work as a support tech in the morning. I am glad she wants to work. I am glad that I am relatively healthy. And that I have a boyfriend and friends that are kind.

It's funny how there's a growing population of homeless people in Irvine, and they are all hanging out at the particular Jack in the Box I'm at right now. I really like the song Michelle by The Beatles. I am so stoked about going to Coachella and seeing Paul Mcartney and Leonard Cohen and Morrissey and Conor Oberst. Seriously, what could be better? I am a total faggot for liking Conor Oberst, but I don't really care. I am more grown up than I used to be, but I still feel like a little kid. A 20 year old kid. I'm 20. What the fuck. I'm worried about money, but I think what'll end up happening is that I'll ask my grandma for money and then pay her back. She's getting rent from my uncle's wife, ex-wife, whatever, Tammy, she's cool. I think it's weird how all of the people I used to know aren't doing anything with their lives, just smothering themselves in high school drama. It's reallllly gay. I am worried about my friend in Portland. I love her. I worry too much. Don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Thank you God.

It's really annoying to hear people talk about themselves and all the great opportunities they have, or where they've been, or what they've bought(or, more accurately, have had their parents/grandparents buy for them). IT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!! Nobody cares. Especially not me.

New York happens one week from Sunday and I don't know if I'll have enough money to make it in New York. I'm really sick of always getting the short end of the fucking stick. Seriously, I get like no end that I don't work for myself. Except for the iPod that Hoang got me, which is really cool.

I'm really stressed out about money. I'm stressed about getting Hoang a cool birthday present. I feel like absolute shit because I can't come through for anyone, not even myself. I don't know. Whatever. Fuck my stupid life.

I love Karl Marx. Maybe I should start a club at school called the Young Hegelians...

My birthday went really well. Hoang got me an iPod and Khalid got me a canvas with paints and brushes! I am really excited.

I am really stressed out about money right now. And school. Especially Arabic.

But onward!

I cannot express how much I hate TV... Except LOST, which I don't consider television. TV is violent and full of misogyny and classism and all the other bullshit I can't think of right now.

Hoang took me to Little Saigon today to get Pho. Then we went to the Gypsy Den and he bought me a Spiced Chai Latte... the greatest drink EVER. I saw Ashtyn and Branden (Who gave me the cold shoulder) and then Prince, Holland, Hoang and I went to watch Valkyrie. It was aiight.

My wisdom tooth that's all the way in is really painful. The good thing is, I don't think it's actually misaligned. I'm going to get some X-Rays and see if I can avoid getting it pulled. My other bottom wisdom tooth is growing in pretty fucked though, so I'll probably get it removed. I really don't want to miss work because I might lose my job. That's the last thing I need right now.

I was afraid that I had strep throat last night so I went to the hospital with Khalid. My entire mouth and throat werein so much pain. After about 5 hours of waiting (and going to bed at 7) I was prescribed Vicodin, holy shit, what the fuck, and I am afraid to take it. I'm scared of getting a panic attack from being on drugs. Anyways, I don't have Strep and my mouth still hurts like shit, so I'm taking a Vicodin before I go to bed.

My little brother Seth is having some serious psychological issues. I'm worried about his next few years of development, which are fucking crucial to his emotional well-being in the long run. With proper care though, I think he'll grow up to become a fine specimen.

I know that I act like a huge brat sometimes when it comes to Khalid and other people. I'm sure people get the idea that I'm a pussy and that I'll never grow up, but I think that's the wrong idea. I feel like I get into those moods because I want control over my relationship, whereas in all other aspects of my life, I have limited or absolutely no control. It's not like I'm not trying, though. I really am. I try to be nice, I try not to be judgmental, and I do try not to be a control-freak perfectionist with the same expectations from everyone else as I have for myself. I guess it's hard to avoid. I don't know. I'm a fucking bad ass and everyone who doesn't think so can GFY. I shouldn't have to pussyfoot around other people just because they haven't had a taste of reality yet. But I do, because I care. I hope I can act my age when I turn 20 next week. And maybe get humbled, just a little bit...

Television is a form of mind control. The satire is the disguise. The art of deception is the art of war.


Anyways....


George Norry is crazy.

I really like getting bloody noses and coughing up blood into the sink... there's no better way to start the day off.

In other news, I didn't get an award at CALMUN. That shit was stolen man. That shit was stolen from me. But I'll get mine at New York.... I'll get mine.